My Immortal: ANOTHER commentary
by MissLadyBuggy
Summary: well, the title says it all. Though I think it will be good :
1. Chapter 1

_Heya guys! So I know there are millions of other commentaries, 58 to be exact, but I think I would be good at this. Constructive Criticism would be helpful(: thanks._

_AN: Special fangz _**Really, fangz? Really? **_(get it, coz Im goffik) _**AHHAHHAHAHAHAHHHA THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY! Not! **_2 my gf (ew not in that way) _**Aw, and for a second i actually thought that this poor girl was Bi just like all the other characters and this poor, poor story. **_raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. _**Wow, such a great job with the spelling, nice work! -claps hands- -sarcasm-**_ U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! __**Woah**_**, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, wait. What/ She has a boyfriend! Dude, lemme tell you something, run while you can! **_MCR ROX!  
><em>  
><em>Hi<em>**, Heya! **_my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way _**What the heck is up with the apostrophe in the middle of Darkness. It's really not needed. Plus, what normal person has 3 middle names? Oh wait, she's not a normal person. **_and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) _**OH REALLY NOW! I never would of guessed! **_with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears _**That makes no sense what-so-ever **_and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee _**-cough cough- MARY SUE -cough cough- **_(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) _**THANK GOODNESS! -runs outta the hell hole-**_._

_I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie._ **Wow, spell it out with me. I-N-S-E-S-T. **

_I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. _**Mhm, and so if you look on your left kids you will see a wannabe vampire with no fangs what-so-ever! **_I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England _**Ireland.**_ where I'm in the seventh year _**Oh so you're not only a vampire, but a witch too? M-A-R-Y S-U-E**_(I'm seventeen)._

_I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) _**Nope, I never could understand exactly what you were. So now its a Gothic Vampire Witch who goes to Hogwarts in IRELAND not England. **_and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there _**Oh yes, cause that means you are SOOOO Gothic, I shop at hot topic and I am by no means Gothic**_. _

_For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow _**blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! No one cares honestly!**

_I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about _**OMG SOMEONE CALL THE METEOROLOGIST! I have just made an important discovery! there can be RAIN and SNOW AT THE SAME TIME!**_ A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them __**Yep**_****,****** cause that's the way to be friendly and make friends**_._

_"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was _**suspense. **_…. Draco Malfoy!_** OMG -GASP- **

_"What's up Draco?" I asked. _

_"Nothing." he said shyly. _**Draco Malfoy? Shy? I don't think we are talking about the same Draco..**

_But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away._

_AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! _**No this is awful. -bangs her head against her keyboard-**

**_A/N: I FIXED THE SPELLING!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!**** No. Shut up. Please.**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **bu-but its fun!**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **yeah cause normal people don't wake up in their bed room -rolls eyes- **It was snowing and raining again. **-calls the meteorologist- yeah we have a problem, it's snowing AND raining here.. **I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **yum****, good ole' blood, its the best! Especially when its from a baby bottle!** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **Please, stop these parts, they are so bloody boring!**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **Will you please keep Authors notes till the end, they are dreadfully annoying.** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes**. OMG two Mary Sues! How is that possible! **She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **again, NO ONE CARES! **

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **OMFG REALLY! That's like so exciting! **

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. -**Look at this word right here!**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. **The Slytherin common room is in the dungeons, so did you just magically teleport to the great hall?**

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.** Yes cause people who BLUSH when they mention Draco's name completely hate him!**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **Is flirtily even a word? I don't think it is. Maybe flirtatiously?**

"Guess what." he said. **What?**

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.** 1) Good Charlotte = Muggle Band 2) Good Charolette = 21st Century band. Fail.**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **OMG, REALLY! MCR and GC are MUGGLE BANDS! From the 21st CENTURY! No-One knows them at Hogwarts!**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. **gasp.**

**A/N: My Spell-Check is not working, so some things may not be spelled properly. I will try to fix this as soon as possible. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!** Hmm last time i checked I was a tom- boy not a prep, and I am still flaming this. Quite unusual wouldn't you say?** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **Wow, so only "Goffik" people are allowed to enjoy this?**

FANGS AGEN RAVEN! **I'm sorry, but Raven didn't help you much on the spelling.**

oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **-.-' no. just, no.**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. **Now lets re-read that sentence real quick, how does that even possibly make sense? **Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.** NO ONE CARES! -bangs her head against a wall-**

I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **Wooooow, that was Bi-Polar much. Shouldn't you be excited that your going to a muggle 21st century band with Draco Malfoy! **

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. **Wouldn't the blood get all over the book? **I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **Again, no one freaking gives a care.**

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert. **-catchy tune- Human blood human blood oh human human blood human blood! doo doo doo doo doo. **I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too)** AGAIN! Muggle 21st century band!**, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **:O why would you turn Draco "Goffik" he was awesome the way he was! **

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **Hm I really must try to be excited in a depressed voice sometime, sounds fun. Oh and why the heck would she be depressed, I mean seriously!**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) **Wait, how do you walk into a flying car. That would be on HUGE step. And we honestly don't care about the license plate.**

and flew to the place with the concert. **Didn't you mention earlier that it was Hogsmede?**

On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson** muggle 21st century band!**. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs** oh yes cause that's soooo healthy! **. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car.** Oh so the car didn't stop or anything! So you're flailing through the air waiting to meet your death! YAY!**

We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. **1) Are you allowed to skip school for some concert! I know I'm not. Oh and, have you fallen to your death yet!**

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). <strong>Oh ok, I just assumed you were the writer of the songs.<strong>

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. **I have never heard of a club in Hogsmede. Interesting.**

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **Wasn't he already depressed? Oh wait, no, that was you.**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **Wow******,****** that was SOO nice. What did poor Hillary ever do to you?**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer **cause they sell regular beer to seventeen year old's in Hogsmede. Butterbeer, maybe.** and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz **How do you crawl into a flying car?**, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **SUSPENSE! **

**A/N : So thank you to my first reviewer, 1Basketball-Crazy! I really appreciated it. And I am still in search for a new spell-check thing, so bear with me please.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **Yeah guys her name is not EBONY but it's ENOBY!**

nut mary su OK! **Nope it's Enoby Mary Sue Dementia (brain loss) Dark'ness Raven Cant Spell Incest Lover Way (:**

DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!** Ok, What? **

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **Wow, such a great way to ask a simple question!**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. **Falling to their deaths, AGAIN! Maybe this time they will actually die!**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **Enoby is trying to figure out why she hasn't died yet. **

"Ebony?" he asked. **They are still not dead:(**

"What?" I snapped. **Still no dead? That no fun.**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **SHE SPELLED GOTHIC RIGHT FOR ONCE! Praise the Lord! And you can't stay mad at a Gothic Slytherin Prince for long, huh?**

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **Please, tell me, how in the hell is it possible to make out KEENLY!**

He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. **Hey now!** Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **Best. Sex. Scene. EVER! **

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **AHHAHAHAHAHA THIS SHOULD OF BEEN IN THE BOOKS! I imagine Dumbledor looking all gangsta here.**

It was…. **Me coming to stab your throats out. Just kidding. **Dumbledore!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **Mmmh, so that means I'm a poser? I guess that is a good thing to know about myself. POSER PARTY OVER HERE EVERYONE!** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache** Oh yes, cause when I have headaches I walk through the Forbidden Forest and cuss. **ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!**Oh he was probably just jealous, pshhh.** PS I'm nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **Ok, so you wont be writing anymore, I presume?**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.** I'm gonna make this website called "Hilarious Insults!" and see if anyone views it! Who's with me? **

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. **Oh cheer up, being called a Ludicrous Fool is not that bad.**

Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **Well I would be very angry too if I were to be woken up at any hour of the night!**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **It's not that big of a deal, Dumblydor.**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **AHAHAHAHA Mediocre Dunces, that's going on the website.**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **1) Oh yes, cause that's a perfect excuse. 2) how long have you known her? For like a day? **

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **What! If I was in trouble with one of my teachers and yelled out "BECAUSE I LOVE HER" I would be accused of being Lesbian and then get ISR probably.**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. **You mean Enoby.**

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels **and that's what you're wearing to bed!**. When I came out…. **I ran to her with her toothbrush and stabbed her fifty million times in the chest and/or brain. **

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. **Draco doesn't sing. **I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **Ok, so if she stayed true to her word then I wouldn't be commentating right now.**

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **I thought you couldn't hardly even say the word 'crosses'.**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, **sooo yummy, blood in the morning, afternoon, and evening!**

and a glass of red blood.** I prefer blood that hasn't touched oxygen yet. Otherwise known as blue blood. **Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **Hmm, so I presume that it's not just red skulls now, its blood red skulls? **

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **Wow, first of all, all he did was bumb into you, no need to be all touchy touchy about it. Second of all, at least I have willpower enough to stay mad at an "attractive" guy.**

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. **BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA THIS IS HILLARIOUS!.** He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. **Is this even legal at Hogwarts!**

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **Technically girls d- oh never mind, I'll save it for when you older. **

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **Oh my gosh! I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying!**

"Why?" I exclaimed. **How do you exclaim a question!**

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.** I picture him smiling like a little school gir**l

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **Wow, best confession ever right here folks.**

"Really?" he whimpered. **I see him getting down on the floor like a dog and pouting.**

"Yeah." I roared. **I see her throwing her head back and yelling "YEAHHH!" ahhahhhahahah!**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **You're so rude!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life **Oh look, another song title! By who? Evanescence you say? Sounds familiar. **

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **Holy crap! God reviewed this 5 times!**

n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue **Oh, so it's not Ebony, or Enoby, but Evony.** ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **Shes still a Mary Sue in my book.**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. **Oh so cute, in a Gothic, sucks all the life and fun out of you, sorta way.** I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).**Yes, and WOAH! How did black nail polish turn red!** I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **Cause misery is light in other circumstances. **I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. **Yepp that's right Vampy, someone more pathetic than you got a man**. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…** I was there with a chainsaw and sliced all their heads off.**

We started frenching passively **How do you french passively!**

and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine **A boy thingy? So you have a boy thingy, he has a boy thingy and he stuck his boy thingy into your boy thingy! **and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**The fact that you said boy thingy made it insanely stupid.**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **Wow, and you just noticed!**

It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… **I'll kill you **Vampire!

I was so angry. **AHHAHAHAHA THAT'S HILLARIOUS!**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**So you have AIDS too now! WOOHOO!**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. **For once, she didn't tell us what she was wearing! It makes me so happy I might just cry -tear, tear-** Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. **Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! AHAAHAHAHAHA! This is gold right here! This is so hilarious I'm laughing so hard right now! AHAHAH! **I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people. **Yes, because you would be allowed to have fun instead of lessons.**

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **WOOHOO! Can't wait to start off my first year of high school like that. Walk into band on that Thursday, go up to my section, and yell "TROMBONE SECTION YOU FUTHERMUCKERS!"**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep! **Oh my gosh, you preps should like totally stop likee flassing this like story like right now like yeah.**

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **AHHH IMAGES! IMAGES! AHHH! I'M BLIND!**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. **First of all, whats with the apostrophe in between B and L! Second of all cause this happens to her all the time!. **She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. **Hey look ANOTHER Mary Sue!**

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. **Why did we randomly start talking about Hermione? Oh, don't bring her into this too!**

Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. **Why! Why did you have to bring Hermione into this!** (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **Yes cause This all has to do with religion.**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **MORE INSULTS! Yes! Woohoo!**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped. **Cause its oh so shocking!**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **But I thought you were Evnboby** I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) **O RLY NAO!** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **Really? So this means I'm a prep, cause I'm not goth!**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire. **Lies!**

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. **Wow, I didn't know you lost your manly-ness.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! **Really? I never noticed.** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **Yes cause Dumblydor (this is a teaser of a later chapter by the way) swears in the movies**.besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! **No, just.. no -shakes head in disapproval-. **MCR ROX! **Random**

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly,**All of a suddenly? Isn't it all of a sudden. Or suddenly?** an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose **you already said that! **(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" **wrong one**. and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. **I never knew Crookshanks was a spell that had the same features as Crucio.** I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped. **Bad cat, shoo.**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **MIDEVIL SPEECH! WOHOO!. **

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **That's not even possible!**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back. **He's too "sexy"!**

Voldemort gave me a gun. **Yeah. A gun is REALLY going to work against WIZARDS and WITCHES. **"No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." **Duh!**

he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **But he has telekinesis! All he has to do is imagine it and then he can go zippity boom to a new place!**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. **POP suddenly Draco apperated there, maybe? But that still doesn't make sense, cause you can't apperate in Hogwarts.**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **Oh you mean like a cross? The word you can't say? Well newsflash, you have already said it.** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. **That doesn't make sense to me. **

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. Whoa**, you just expelled Draco! You're gonna get in trouble misssy.**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **Step, kiss, step, kiss, step, kiss. Is that how it went?**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik **-licks story- it tastes gross! Oh and now your homophobic too! **ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Vlodemort **Voldemort is even scarier though.** all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross **Take note of the word 'cross' **between GC, Slipknot and MCR. **You sound like a guy?** The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. **Isn't that what bands do, anyway?** I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) **woooow, you just spelled it out, right up there ^ and in chapter 2 I think**.or a steak) **So Draco can't die from blood loss? Take note of this too.** and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. **Wow, that is not under any circumstances sad. I** put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **Nope not a slut at all, are we? **

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **Couldn't be because you were depressed?**

"E**vn**bony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. **Concerted:** **Jointly arranged, planned, or carried out; coordinated.**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. **Cause that's how you talk to friends.** And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. **If he was mean you would have killed him, then? I would have, too.** But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. **Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **I don't think jumping through walls like spider man is. **

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. **And then I popped in and started crying, then drove s steak into everybody's throats while crying, then we slowly cried to death together.**

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) **how do you even cry wisely**?"Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **I thought that was impossible though! **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz!**Nobody is listening. Stop trying.** c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 **I am sure it is srupid. And stupid, too. In fact, I think chapter 11 is the funniest chapter. So, uh, yeah. It can't be serious if it's so hilarious. **it delz wit rly sris issus! **Nope. **sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid **Okay. I already know it is. But I won't spoil the surprise. **brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping **Does she have leprosy? So she hleps you? **me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **another way to talk to BFF's. **and I ran to my room crying myself. **You can cut yourself, you can hit yourself, you can eat yourself, but how do you cry yourself? I don't it takes a direct object... **Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **We have to assume that anyone that goes into Ebony's room is going to rape her. **

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They **Which one? **got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. **What I do every time my vampire boyfriend dies. **I grabbed a steak **YUM. I think I'm gonna go to Longhorn, now, and order a sirloin... Seriously, I'm going. I think I have a $20 somewhere around here... **and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. **Yay! She's gonna kill herself! It will finally be the end! **I was so fucking depressed! **-crosses finger- !** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. **Okay. She's wearing a sandy dress.** I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff **I have no idea what your talking about but go on? **on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. **I can't, either. You're not dead. **Then I looked out the window and screamed… **meowmeowmeow **was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin **Oh, dear. **was masticating **Masticate: To chew (food).** **Chewing on Ebony's clothes. Okay. **to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! **See? He chewed off her clothes and she's naked now. **ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" **is that the same as AVADA FLIPPING KADAVRA! **he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **Harry is pregnant?** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. **I thought abra kadavra already killed them**.Suddenly, Dumblydore **SEE WHAT I WAS TALKIGN ABOTU!** ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. Oh** goodness no, not Hagrid.**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" ? **I thought he was the game keeper! Silly me.**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." **I am not even going to try to comprehend. Hargrid is Hagrid's young cousin? Younger brother? I'm not even going to try. **Hargirid **Who is this Hairgirid?** paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." **That doesn't even make any sense. *draws factor tree* Nope, I'm not seeing anything.**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. ***erases factor tree* I was wrong. Oops. **

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **BUTT TRUMPET!** "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" **No butt trumpet? :'( **

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. ***Opens can and takes a sip* I feel ya. I need to go to Walmart later today, though, my supply is getting low. Please excuse me, I need to add 'blood' to my grocery list...**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **Clock or cloak or coke? Which one?**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT. **

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **I can't imagine that. **

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!" **Nope. NO CHANCE she's a Mary Sue. **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat **Not at my school...**I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **I- HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY CONFUSE HEGRID WITH CEDRIC!**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.** DI****E! DIE! DIE!**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **Yeah, cause red whites is perfectly normal.**

I stopped. "How did u know?" **Such a great question! How do you know you're in pain?**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" Cause** you can only see the exact location of the pain to know you're in pain.**

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **"And my SCAR turned BACK into a LIGHTNINGBOLT!" Yepp sounds like he has a scar to me.**

"I do but Diabolo **Why did you have to pull Ron into this** changed it into a pentagram **Wha..?**for me and I always cover it up with foundation." **G****uys. Don't. Wear. MAKEUP! IT'S JUST WRONG!** he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! **Save us!** then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort **Sounds less scary then Vlodemort, even less scary than Voldemort.** has him bondage!" **OH CRAPOLA! BONDAGE!**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists.** Even though you're a vampire and can't die from slitting your wrists. **Snap and Loopin and HAHRID Seriously**! If you're gonna spell it in all caps, please at least spell it right. Say it with me now: H-A-G-R-I-D! **were there too. They were going to St. Mango's **If a mango gets chucked at your head, this is the place for you! **after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated **Did he eat a Mango, and it wouldn't come out?** the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. **See, you finally use that at a reasonable time!**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. **Wait, I thought he was going to St. Mango's cause he was a pedophile. I'm so confused.**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses. **It's soooo hard to type out V-E-R-y! So I will abbreviate it with V.**

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, **YOU WEAR PINK ALL TEH FRIGGEN TIME! LIES!** and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."** Nope the pink roses he's handing you are.. guns, I wish**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" **Yeah, cause roses can be Gothic. Duh.** I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene **Who's talking here?**and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) **Why**** yes, yes it is! **to it he added silently. **Did he ****whisper it or think it?**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly. **What? I usually yell things tiredly, or happily, or funnily. Or maybe even AGRILY! But not ANGIRLY!**

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." **their guns!** He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! **What? I Don't get this, I'm confused.**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. ***claps* You can tell the difference! **

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." **What? **Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" **Weird. I'm not even gonna try to decode anything but Imo Noto Okayo.**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. **OH MY GOSH! THAT SENTANCE WAS PERFECT!****. **And it was black. **OMG! It was black! He's not a poser prep!** Now I knew he wasn't a prep. **If you are ever accused of being a poser/prep turn something black, its all cool.**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **Yeah, what is he? A human, a vampire, a centaur...**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," **You mean Dobby? Please don't drag him into this!** Dumblydore **DUMBLYDOR DUMBLYDOR OOOH DUMBLY DUMBLY DUMBLY DUMBLYDOR! DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!** said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?" **To understand that flamers are telling you the truth about your story, Tara, you must find yourself. What wonderful advice.**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" **That was pretty funny. I've gotta say. **Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. **Yeah. No headache = no cussing at the students.**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs **Where are they? **and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuffon the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. **Are there even boots like that in existence?** I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) **That must be really attractive.** and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **Black lip gloss over her red lip stick. I don't give a freaking care about what you are wearing!**

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) **no.** you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **Didn't you JUST leave the hospital wing for slitting your wrists?** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. **Good idea. **I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **Is that where you learn to braid Unicorn hair!**He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **Wouldn't some teachers be there stopping him? Or at least Hagrid!**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. **He says this while suckling on the Hufflepuffs neck!**"Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time **while he was still sucking blood from the Hufflepuff**. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **Wow, the poor Hufflepuff is in the middle of this. Plus, where is Hagrid at to stop this! But otherwise, HILLARIOUS MENTAL PICTURE!**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" **MORE INSULTS!**shouted Professor McGoggle My new favorite way to misspell **McGonagal, wait is that even how you spell it? I'm not sure..** who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. **What's the phrase? It takes two to tango? Dude, you jumped on HIM** You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **Whoa,**** De Ja Vous.**

"NO!" I ran up closer. **? **

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **Yo, am I going crazy?**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **?**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **Come on, Raven. You're her BLOOD SISTER. EDIT THE CHAPTER. PLEASE. **

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **Oh, crap. And the trouble all begins...**

**Wish me luck. **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin **Gelpin the fishie!** me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!**FLAM-NIG-NIG! Sounds wrong..**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" **so one person yelled DUMBLEDOR and the other yelled DUMBLYDOR! **both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **Someone write it down. Two out of three times, it was spelled correctly just now. **

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. **Seriously. I NEED her list of insults. This is just fantastic.**

"Volsemort **volsemort, volfemort, vlodemort, voldemort, so many spellings! **has Draco!" we shouted at the same time. **What a great time to get back to the story. **

He laughed in an evil voice. **You know, he can laugh in a voice. You wish you were him. I do. **

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn **wow..** what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." **This really is so hilarious. **then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) **Well, normally yes, but these guys? No. **

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. **Brainblast!** "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's **Voldemprt, volsemort, volfemort, vlodemort, voldemort.** lair! **WOW!**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **All praise Allah. **  
>It was….. Voldemort! <strong>In his own lair? Get out!<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! **Bad day, anyone? **Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. **She can't even speak English (or so I'm assuming since she has the writing ability as a per-schooler) so just chill out.** PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **Yeah, she has to get 10 more reviews from God!**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. **Seriously. Scarier than anything you've ever experienced. **VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **Vee-ow-er excretion ad-vis-id... This chapter is so scary that you need to go poop right now so you don't while reading this. **

We ran to where Volcemort was. **Volcemort, Voldeprt, Volsemort, Volfemort, Voldemort.. is that all? It feels like there's more.. **It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. **Snaketail? That's a new one, I thought it was Wormtail, silly me. **Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.** Course, I guess it could be Nagini too..**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" **Seriously. Good insults. **he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwitme." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok) Whoa**, this is weird, how can Potter be older than Wormtail, who was in his Fathers generation! O.O**

"Huh?" I asked.  
>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. <strong>Laughing Crudely<strong>? "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." **If he **_**hadn't **_**of tortured her boyfriend... Than maybe. **I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. **I picture her straddling him, stabbing him like an insane warrior maniac. **Blood pored out of it like a fountain. **How poetic. **

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. **What a funny mental image. **I brust into tears sadly. **Why did you stab him then? And brust?**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. "**Laying on the ground, being dead, you boss?"** Then… he started coming! **Must. Get. Mind. Out. Of. Gutter. **We could hear his high heels **HEELS? **clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. **Where, how, when? **There I started crying. **Of course you dd.**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. **You know. It happens. At least she's not saying 'have you-know-what'. **He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **Mental, images... e.e**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." **Ebony is NOT a slut. Only the preps are. **answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid **I thought it was Cedric..**says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! **CONCEITED MUCH! **I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. **Mary sue.**


End file.
